My name is Mrs. Elley Aiyedofe. I am Caribbean by descent; my husband is Nigerian. I moved to the UK to be with extended family 25 years ago when I was 23 years old. I am a mum of 4 – I have one girl and three boys. I am a registered social worker specialising in children and families, I also have a background in public health specifically community development. I have a keen interest in the Sickle Cell community as my eldest son has the condition and we continue to advocate for better care for people with a diagnosis of SCD and their caregivers.
My first experience of the education system in the UK was at university during my studies to become a registered nurse. Six months from qualifying, I lost my place on the nurse training course. The course is made up of practical experience in the hospital and skills and competencies that need to be signed off by qualified nursing staff. I was placed on a ward where the staff were predominantly white British and the matron took a dislike to me and instructed staff to not sign my competencies. I raised this with my practice educator and I was told there is no problem. When the deadline came for the submission of portfolios, mine was not signed and the placement I was on, the matron again instructed her staff to not sign my competencies. I raised this with my practice educator again and was told it’s not a problem and I should submit my portfolio as is. After 3 weeks a letter came from the exam board saying I had failed. I contacted my practice educator and was told she cannot be of assistance. Interestingly, my peers had similar experiences except they signed off their own portfolios and passed. I wanted to do the right thing but in the end failed a course that I actually excelled at. It was a year later I bumped into one of the only Black lecturer on the course and he shared that I could have appealed, but by then it was too late.
As a parent my experience with the education system has been fraught with difficulties. My eldest son with a diagnosis of Sickle Cell Disorder has faced many adversities within the education system. He changed schools twice due to the poor care received and to this day is traumatised by his experience. In primary school he would spend the afternoon hiding under a desk as he had no one to play with or was feeling unwell but no adult would listen. His sickle cell nurse advised me to not fight with the school anymore and remove him from the school after the headteacher called to ask me to check if my child had brought home stationery from school as things have started to go missing.
In secondary school, he was placed in isolation for a haircut on his first day back at school after a three week hospital stay. I explained to the school that his hair needed to be low due to a skin condition (pityrysis lichenoides which causes scaring on the scalp and needs to be exposed to sunlight), but this was not accepted. He had several episodes of absence due to ill-health, no support given at home to revise or to catch up on his return to school. I asked for a managed move and advised the school that I would take it to the public arena about the fact that they are behaving in a discriminatory manner by penalising a Black boy for a Black hairstyle.
He moved to another secondary school where the students, knowing his condition, put ice down his back to see if the cold really triggered a crisis. He was hospitalised for two weeks and was in intensive care. On his return to school, his history teacher told me there’s no point in him sitting any exams as he won’t pass. I complained to the school that if teachers are not supporting students to at least try, then what is the point of them being teachers? The headteacher instructed the history teacher to apologise. My son’s confidence in his own abilities was shattered, but now he accesses learning independently, goes at his own pace, and is finding what he excels at, which is IT.
My middle son excels academically. During parents’ evening in primary school, a teacher complained that he answers too many questions and should not be so active in class. I never attended another parents’ evening after that. Now he is in a 99% white secondary school. It has been challenging, but all credit to him—he has persevered. As a Black child, he is not afforded the grace to be a child. Every misdemeanour results in detention or meetings with parents.
There was an incident in school where a group of boys repeatedly taunted him and pulled his trousers down. My son was mortified. During the incident, it is reported that he physically lashed out at all four boys and hurt them in the process. The school wanted to exclude him, and I argued that their actions could be perceived as sexual assault. Furthermore, the teacher who was supposed to be maintaining order in the class was a cover teacher, which had been happening for some time. My child defended himself the only way he felt was available to him as the adults in charge did not help. In the end, he was not excluded.
Another concerning incident was having a teacher call to say she has raised a safeguarding concern because she was worried that my child spoke about legalising marijuana. To give context, this is an English class, and the teacher had asked the class to debate for and against several topics, one of which was marijuana (she chose the topic). I asked what my child said that caused her concern, and she didn’t have an answer. I think this is likely stereotyping: here is a Black child talking about ‘weed’, so it must be his everyday norm.
My youngest child is neurodiverse. So far, I have been met with low expectations from his school and them focusing on what he cannot do. I had to use my knowledge of the SEN process to gain assessments and therapy and an EHCP so he could get support in school. It just happened that we moved house and subsequently moved schools, and now he has a much more positive experience of school and no longer has meltdowns. In his prior school, he was frustrated, had delayed speech, and was not able to express himself fully. My young son is now a confident reader and enjoys taking part in group activities.
This report by BEO is important to highlight the failures happening in our schools and some parents feeling powerless to make changes. I have attempted to establish online support for children with sickle cell to access alternate, flexible learning provisions to support them to catch up on learning and be prepared when they re-enter the classroom. It is vital, especially for this cohort, as ill health, lower socio-economic status, and marginalisation from discrimination are a lot for a person to address.
We, as a people, need to have visibility. Our young people need to see positive role models in the classroom. Our uniqueness as a people needs to be catered for, similar to other cultures, without fail and without excuses. We need to educate Black parents on their rights as parents and help them understand the avenues open to them to address concerns and to use those avenues or find an advocate. We need more representation on boards of governors to also promote our needs.
I recently visited a college in Birmingham with my 16 year old son to consider 6th form settings, and the teachers in the science and maths departments were all Black, which left my son in awe. On the first day, they took him under their wings, made us feel welcomed, and gave me the feeling that my child will be supported and celebrated here. We have young people who are doing exceptionally well despite adversities; they need to be celebrated, and their parents need to be celebrated too. My middle son is only 16, yet he is very cognizant that no matter how well he does academically, his teachers do not offer positive words of encouragement. In this new setting he is hoping to attend, already they have raised the bar and showcased the excellent partnership work they do with the Royal Navy, BAE systems and the United Nations and have planted the seed that he too can have a place with high achievers.
I hope to continue to see positive changes in the education system.
